The Biggest Kid At School

One of my granddaughters is in kindergarten in a French Immersion programme. She is an enthusiastic student of French so I thought that I would talk to her in French while we were together. She wanted to know why I could speak French. I told her that I was going to school where I was learning French. She stood up, her eyes wide open in surprise, and said "You must be the biggest kid at school."

Back Home

I am back from visiting my family in the northern City By The Lake. Visiting my family is usually enjoyable, but this was possibly the best visit ever. I missed seeing one of my siblings and two of my daughters and their families because they live elsewhere. Other than that my visit was everything it could have been. I am tired and happy. What more could one want out of a visit? Chocolate ice cream? There was lots of that in the freezer, thanks to a certain grandchild.

Christmas Dinner

I went to a Christmas dinner with two of my neighbours. It is an annual event that is organized by a senior's club that they belong to. My partner and I have been going with them for a few years. The meal and the entertainment are always enjoyable and it is nice to go out with friends. I was not thinking that anything would be different this year, but I forgot that I have been hanging around with people who are much younger than I am. It was strange to be one of the youngest in a large group (300+) after almost always being the oldest person wherever I go on campus. Most of the people at the dinner were of the same generation as my parents. The turkey dinner was tasty and the people at our table were interesting which made the two hours go by all too quickly.

Reconnected

My high speed is back. The modem was defective. There is so much to do now that I am back on. I am behind in my online reading and I have a project that involves some online research. It is not due for some time, but I want to get an early start on it.

I finished all of my exams and have gotten the results of two of them. A B in stats and an A in psych. The stats mark is the final for the course and I am relatively happy with it. Under the circumstances, I think that it is good. Next term I am taking a half course in finite math. We are joining a class in progress. It can be taken as a two term full course or, as a second term half course.

The work on the house is progressing well, but I am taking a Christmas break of about one week, plus another one of about three days. I will be visiting family on those occasions. I need a break and I will enjoy acting my favourite age, six. I love playing with my grandchildren. Oh yeah, I do like to visit my children, my siblings, my mum and all of the other adults too.

Lots On The Go

I'm very busy even though my exams are finished. I am doing all of the work that I did not get the crew to do when they were here. I will not get it all done this year, but I have gotten a good start.

I am back to using dial-up until my internet service is back to normal. It has been down for several days. I did not bother to do anything about it when I was studying for my exams. I forgot how slow dial-up is.

I've been holed up, here in my house, for a few days and other than the two items I already mentioned, there is nothing happening. Little did I know that dull and boring were to remain my theme after I finished studying. I am quite anxious to get the work finished and I am concentrating on that for now.

Study Notes

Talk to children more often. They remind you of what is important.
Keep the freezer full of chocolate ice cream,
especially during exams.
Take note when someone tells you where the dishcloths are.
Play more.
Don't take yourself too seriously.
Have more fun.
Go swimming with friends.
Make someone a present.
Share a meal with family and friends.
Share with people you don't know.
Spend more time with your neighbours.
Laugh more.
Live your life.

Studying

I am spending most of my time studying. My exams are all next week, with the last one on Saturday. It will be nice to get them over with, but I don't have much study time. I need to concentrate on my stats. The final exam is worth 60% of my final mark. I am spending most of my time alone here at home so I won't have any interesting stories about happenings at school. Dull and boring are going to be my two middle names for the next ten days or so.

Under The Weather

Those three days that I slept through were just the beginning of my feeling very sick. Things got a lot worse early Tuesday morning. I think that the worst is over and I am getting better. My brain is very tired and refuses to cooperate with me. I'll just have to show it who is the boss of me.

Meditating

I found a new way to make my time on the bus productive. I decided to meditate. I was having a problem reading because of my foggy glasses in the morning, so I meditate instead. It is a bit hard to get past the picture that I have of myself. I imagine that some of the people around me look at me and think that I am sleeping. I know that people sleep on the bus, I used to do it when I was a lot younger, I even got good at waking up just in time for my transfer and destination. It is just the image that I think that others have of me as some old guy sleeping on the bus that gets to me. A bit silly I know, I don't have any problem with my age otherwise.

I usually meditate before exams. Before I went in to write my French exam, I found a quiet corner and meditated for a while. When I finished, a guy asked me if I had been meditating or sleeping. He meditates, or at least he does when he finds the time. We had a short conversation about the need to meditate whenever and wherever one finds the time. Time is one thing that I have to spare on my bus rides.

Weird Dream

I had a very weird dream this morning just before I woke up. I was standing before a portal of some sort; it reminded me of what a black hole might be like. I was hesitant but unafraid. I don't know whether I stepped forward, or was pulled through the portal by some force, but I, very suddenly and quickly, was pulled through or along a tunnel of some sort. My body was torn apart, not into its physical parts, but into the elements that make up my body. It did not hurt nor did it frighten me. All that was left, was me in some form that was aware of my surroundings and could process thought. I was blasted out of the tunnel into a new, exciting, colourful and very beautiful universe. I was very peaceful and content, just taking in everything that I saw with a sense of wonder.

December

December is here already, I can hardly believe it. Where has the time gone. I know that time flies by when you are having fun, so I guess I must have been having fun. I know, that is not very logical. It is just my attempt to lighten the mood.

One of the, undesirable, side effects of the work that was done here, is that my breathing has been impaired. I have asthma and the fumes from the paint and the new flooring will cause me problems for at least ten days. I even had two windows open yesterday for several hours even though it is below freezing outside. Breathing is good. I prefer to keep on breathing for a few more years.

I was so wiped out yesterday, from the difficulty that I have had with my breathing for about the previous 24 hours, that I turned off the phones and went to bed at about seven pm. I only dozed on and off until about ten when I went to sleep for the night.

So, here I am, it is not even six am and I am awake and have been for a while. The air is a bit better in here this morning. I vacuumed the whole house and washed the tile floor that runs from the back door, through the kitchen and to the front door. I also cleaned the hardwood floor in the living room and vacuumed the furniture and dusted some of the flat surfaces that I had not covered during the work. Maybe it was just the housework that did me in yesterday.

I have one more assignment to do before classes end. It is not very long, but does entail some reading and analysis and comparing and contrasting two different approaches to combating sexism through language use. There is only one copy of each of the books in all of our libraries so they are on a two hour hold. I just missed getting the books two times before I finally got to hold them in my hands for only one hour and fifty minutes. I got gypped out of ten minutes because the person in the library rounded the time to the hour. I got my reading done and then photocopied the two chapters that I decided to analyze. I did all of this the day after the work was assigned. Imagine how I felt, when, as a result of many complaints about access to the books, our prof said he would get the two chapters of the one book and all of the other book scanned and online. There are about fifty people in our class, so I do see why it was difficult for some of my classmates to get to the library and do the reading. I went in the evening and still had to wait.

I woke up to a nice email of support from one of my friends who knows what happened. I had not expected it and was pleasantly surprised. It is especially nice when someone does something unexpected like that. Those small acts of thoughtfulness can make more of difference in other peoples lives than we realize.

It is 6:10 am and the whole day awaits. I like to think of life as being on an adventure. My life has certainly been an adventure since my application to university was accepted. It has been a mix of apprehension, excitement, joy, tragedy, sadness, loss, friendship, acceptance and new beginnings. Maybe next year will be dull and boring.

Neighbours

I am a very privileged person. I have some great neighbours. One of them called me and asked whether or not I would like some soup that they made. Of course, I answered in the affirmative. A few minutes later, he came over with two containers of great home made soup. I would like to acknowledge the help that my neighbours have given me over the last several weeks. They have been very understanding and supportive. Thank you.

Privacy

The builders have left and I have my privacy back. Now I just have to clean the house which is dust from top to bottom. They cleaned up the area that they worked in, but the furnace spread dust all over the house. I'm glad that we got them in to do their work and I really like the new floor and paint job upstairs. The basement no longer looks like a basement. It is nicely finished and painted. I'll start moving some things down there in a couple of weeks. It will be a slow process, but there is no rush. I usually celebrate occasions with some music and this one calls for just the right music but I have no idea what I want to listen to tonight.

Friends

I told another friend about my problem and was, only mildly, surprised to hear that person tell me about a similar experience. I've talked to four friends and all of them have experienced something similar to what I've gone through. Maybe my problem is not as unusual as I think that it is. I just don't know.

It seems that there may be a resolution to it in the works. Things are tentative and will not be resolved soon, but there is movement in that direction.

I find talking about the event to be very tiring. I usually feel wrung out and drained afterwards, but I feel better for having shared my experiences with other people. It also helps to explain some of my behaviour over the last couple of months. Quite a few of my friends and classmates know that something happened and have been wondering what it was. They have all been very supportive. Some of them were willing to help in any way that they could, without even knowing what happened. It is nice to know that there are many good people out there. I am lucky enough to have several of them as friends.

Winter Weather

Forget about global warming, winter is here. The snow is falling and it is going to get cold tonight. I think that I've found a use for my down filled jacket. I used to wear it when I went out for walks at -30 and colder. It always kept me very warm. I am going to wear it to school. When I am standing around outside in the cold waiting for buses I can get very chilly. Not that I have to wait very long; at worst it is about fifteen minutes, when I just miss the bus to my neighbourhood on my way home. Still, that is a long time to stand outside on a cold winter day.

From my perspective, the best thing about taking the bus to the university, in the wintertime, is not having to clear the snow and ice off my car and then, driving in a cold vehicle half way to my destination. The buses are always nice and warm.

Valley Speak

One feature of Valley Speak is the use of high rising terminals. That is what makes it sound as if everything is a question? (I did that one on purpose) The voice goes up at the end of a statement, just as if it were a question. The use of HRTs is quite widespread and has been creeping into written English as well as being used in spoken English.

I noticed that one of my posts is written using an HRT. I could not believe my eyes when I saw it, but there it is in the last line of Wild Weather.

Sitting In The Dark

The power went off this afternoon while a few of us were waiting for stats class to begin. We sat in the light of the emergency system for a few minutes and discussed our options. One our class mates said that we could all go to their flat and, either study or party. We decide that the party was our preferred option, but before we could plan our escape, the lights came back on. Another great plan foiled. The whole episode put us in a jovial mood that lasted through the hour. It doesn't take much to get a bunch of stats students excited. We need to get out more.

A Little Bit Of Everything

It is Friday evening and there is just over a week of classes before we break for exams and Christmas. I get all of my exams over with in one week. I have four days to study after classes end before I write my first one. I write the hardest one first; I like that.

Our late Friday afternoon stats class is getting quite restless by the end of the hour. Our prof has a hard time with us. We just want to get out of there and go home for the weekend.

I got lucky this afternoon; there was a bus coming as I crossed the street to the bus stop. It was one of the extra buses, so it left right away. I had driven my car and parked it close to the campus this afternoon, so I got home in record time for a Friday evening.

I've been finding it easier to spend longer spans of time at homework or studying; just in time for exams. I spent an hour and a half at stats, took a half hour break and went back for another half hour of studying before class. I am quite happy to be able to do that. I've had such a hard time concentrating on anything for any length of time. I am beginning to feel much better; just a bit short of breath because of my lung infection. Oh well, as long as my brain is in gear, I won't complain.

The builders are coming along quite well. No significant problems, so far. It will be great to get them out of here. I like my privacy and the house is a mess; plaster dust on everything. It s cold enough that the furnace is running a lot and it spreads the dust throughout the house.

I told my classmate with the health problems (we are getting to be friends, I think) about my idea for a reverse Pandora's box. (See the comment that I left) She wants one. I do too. Maybe we can share one.

I wish that I had no scruples. I heard lots of nice, juicy stuff yesterday but, because I respect the privacy of others, I cannot write about it. @^^@%&%*&#@#!(&(!!! Among other things, suffice it to say that one of our classes, next term, will have a self identified, very interesting violent offender. I think that he may just be trying to impress impressionable young women, but who knows. He just might be for real. His reputation precedes him.

I have to start thinking about something to eat. I've been goofing off since I got home. I've had too many pizzas and need a healthy meal. I bought some veggies and fruit this afternoon and have some cooked rice in the fridge. A stir fry sounds good to me.

I am listening to Norah Jones and Diana Krall as I write this post. I like their singing. Norah Jones is accompanied by the Peter Malick Group. There is a nice contrast between Norah Jones and Diana Krall. I find Norah Jones to be energetic and Diana Krall to be very mellow. The computer is playing their music randomly, so there is a nice mix of mellow and energetic music.

My partner is doing well. We have been talking a lot on the phone and she is feeling a lot better. It has been very good for her to spend time with her brother and sister-in-law. She will also be visiting her daughter for a couple of weeks, from the middle of December until the end of December.

I got her a something that she will appreciate for Christmas. A Mose Scarlett CD that we don't have. May be he will come out with another one before next Christmas. I hope so.

I will miss her this Christmas, but I think that it will be great to see my mum and the rest of the gang. I miss them too. It is always nice to see my grandchildren. I am looking forward to spending time with them. A week is not long, but it is long enough to be able to spend a fair bit of time with them.

I've told my profs about my problem; they have been very supportive and understanding. I have slipped a bit over the last three weeks, or so, but I have time to get it together before I write my exams. I am taking two half courses and will have to concentrate on them to make sure that my final mark is decent.

My friend, who entered the poetry contest with me, came up with some music to go with one of my poems. It sounded quite nice. I asked about the tune and she told me that she had just made it up on the spot. I really envy people with that ability.

My medication was interfering with my memory and I found it very disconcerting. I could not recall information very well. I was quite upset about it. Thank goodness that the effect was temporary.

I have never understood why I can remember stuff that I've read in texts, or heard in class, but I can forget to get a roll of paper towel two times after going upstairs to get one. I get distracted and do something else and come back downstairs without the roll of paper towel that I went upstairs to get.

Yeah! I finally remembered the paper towel and some Kleenex for the kitchen.

I've been writing this post for about 35 minutes. I hope that, those of you, who are suffering from post withdrawal, get your fix tonight, because I think that I have said it all. You know who you are.

If I were smart, I would have turned this into three posts. I'm not that smart, I guess. Judge for yourself.

Okay, that is quite enough for one post. Goodnight all.

Rob

All Dressed Up And Nowhere To Go

My friend and I enjoyed our evening of poetry. We had great seats near the front and another friend joined us for a while. She has to get up at 5:15 tomorrow morning so she left early. The two of us sat there until the last poet was announced. Neither of us was called. We both entered online, so we are wondering if there was some problem with their online system. We were disappointed but there was nothing we could do about the situation. We will definitely complain about being left out. Next time. I will use the old fashioned paper entry form.

Important Discovery

While travelling along a route frequented by many of the students on their daily movement to and from their gathering place, I discovered a possible adaptive change in the behaviour of some of them. Several of the students, who did not have umbrellas, had gathered underneath the overhang of a building to shelter themselves from the rain. It seemed to be quite effective.

I also discovered an ingenious, two hooded jacket system that was being used by one of the more creative students. She used the inner hood to shelter herself from the elements and used the outer hood to catch the rain for later use. I am sure that she had gathered enough rainwater to meet her needs for the rest of the afternoon.

It is said that some students are adept and quick to learn. Perhaps, this behaviour will spread. In that case, I would expect their survival rate to increase.

Upon our arrival at the main gathering spot, we were greeted by several chanting students who gave each of the refugees, from the storm, free hugs. I had to hug three of the group before they would let me continue. I am not sure what they meant by free hugs. I've never had to pay for hugs before, but maybe that is the custom here.

I ventured throughout the student gathering places this afternoon and have learned many things but I must end my report here. It is time to go and take part in a group ritual. It involves getting up in front of a group of students and presenting one or more poems for their enjoyment. I don't know what happens to the presenters who do not satisfy the crowd, so I am a bit apprehensive.

Wild Weather

It's November 21 and pouring rain. Global warming at work again, I guess. The buses were packed this morning and could not pick up everybody at the stops. There were more people getting on than were getting off until we got to the first main campus stop.

I came home to do some work and get ready for the poetry contest tonight. I might even get dressed up a bit. Make an impression, maybe, in case my poetry doesn't. I've had two people look at it and they both liked it but they are prejudiced. I trust their opinions though.

While I was waiting for a bus, I watched the other people there. Several of us had umbrellas and most of the others had jackets with hoods, so they were somewhat protected from the elements. I began to wonder what the protocol was for sharing umbrellas with other people that one does not know. How bad does the rain have to get? I find myself preoccupied by these sorts of very important questions from time to time and I need some answers so that I'll do the right thing the next time. Is there anybody out there who knows the correct umbrella sharing protocol? Or, is it another survival of the fittest test? The ones who forget their umbrellas die out and don't reproduce?

Striking a Balance

I find that the life of a student is a hectic one. It is almost like being isolated from the world in some ways. It is like being on a carousel of lectures, reading, studying, assignments and tests. You finish one ride and get right back on for another one. Don't get me wrong; I signed up for this. I just had forgotten how myopic and hectic the life of a student can be. It is easy to get caught up in the struggle for grades and success. I am trying to strike a balance between doing well and having a life. Just how to do that is the problem. I know that all of us face this struggle no matter what we are engaged in. One way that I keep some sanity is by meeting regularly with a group of older students. We share our stories, have a few laughs and forget about the carousel for a while.

A Poem About Losing Things

The author of this poem was inspired by my blog about losing things. The author has given me permission to post this untitled work.

Where did I put it?
Where did it go?
Did I leave it behind?
Did I leave it at home?

Is it at my seat
In that lecture hall?
Did somebody steal it?
Imagine the gall!

I am sure that I grabbed it
When I hurried out
I remember it clearly
Without a doubt…

But wait...I don’t know…
Did it ditch me in Stats?
Did it jump out of my bag?
My memory...oh drats!

My belongings seem to
Have a mind of their own
They look at my pack
And they seem to groan

“I’m not going in there…
If I may be so blunt -
It’s so dark and cramped
Even at the front”

“I’ll just wait right here,
This is such a fun game
The scavenger hunt
That drives people insane

Where did I put it
Where should I look
The classroom, the office
Where is that damned book?

A Good Day

Today was a good day, not a great day, but a good day. I am happy with good days. I managed to work on an assignment this morning for about 90 minutes without taking a break or being distracted. It has been a long time since I have been able to do that.

I saw my counsellor this morning after working on my assignment. We had a very good session in which I began to understand just why I get so angry for so long.

I took a break after that and had a hot chocolate. I managed to get very relaxed, which is what I needed. I even worked for another hour on some homework that isn't even due until Thursday. I almost finished it which is even better.

While I had a good weekend and a good Monday, my classmate with the health problems did not. She ran into an animal which caused a lot of damage to her car. She was not injured, just upset at the death of the animal and the damage to her car.

The mood of my last class of the day was a bit different today. It is a half course which will end in just two weeks, and a bit. Anyone who was out in the hall may have thought there was a party going on instead of a class. We were doing some group work and were talking to each other as we solved our problems. It was very relaxed and enjoyable. There was some friendly banter and a few laughs. I don't think that our prof had planned it that way, but the situation was very conducive to learning. All in all, a very good day.

Quick Update

I have been very busy over the past few days and will be this weekend. We are getting someone in to do some work in our house and I had to clear out the basement for them to work down there. I also have to finish tiling the bathroom and do other preparatory work that I said that I would do before they begin. They are starting the job on Monday morning, so I have to get to it.

Losing Ground

I find that I am starting to call female students 'girls'. I have been opposed to referring to adult females as girls for decades. It started in the 1960s when women began to protest the way they were treated. I have been adamant about referring to female adults as women. Many women call each other girl and I cannot remember hearing anybody refer to another student as a woman. I have had several conversations on the topic with other students and they appreciate why I refer to adult females as women. Nevertheless, it is difficult to maintain my linguistic practice in isolation. so, if 'girl' slips into my blog from time to time, you will know what is going on. My beliefs have not changed, just my language. But, that leads us to the theory that language shapes our actions. And I just might end up calling a vigilant feminist a girl. I'll be right back to square one.

Writing

Necessity is the mother of invention, or in my case the inspiration for writing. Or maybe I was just in a writing mood. I wrote three posts yesterday and then went on to write three poems. Two of them are good. I may enter one or both of those in the poetry contest. The third poem was inspired by a comment someone made about a post of mine. I turned Lost and Found into a poem. It is okay, but it needs some work. All of the poems that I wrote last night were more than four lines. One is eight lines only because the first line, and every second line after that, is only one or two words. I did that for effect. I wanted the poem to be hesitant and uncertain because it is about not knowing. I am quite happy with the second one which is about the fall and losses and new beginnings. I would post them here but that would reduce the field of potential publishers. I do intend to submit the first two and some others as soon as I am sure that they are right.

These are only the second, third and fourth poems that I have composed at the computer. It turned out to be easier than it has been for me in the past. I will definitely do more of my poetry writing on the computer.

Driven To Distraction

I have decided to write about what I have been going through. In particular, I will write about how I have been affected and leave out the details of the event itself.

Just one week after I returned to university, a life altering event occurred. The most immediate effect was a demand on my time and energy that could only be met by spending almost all of my waking hours on dealing with the aftermath of that event.

I ended up dropping one course and taking an elementary French course instead of the intermediate French course that I had been placed in. I was probably improperly placed in that French class to start with, but I did not protest because I knew that I could do the work. Between these two changes, I reduced my work load by at least 25%.

I went to see a counsellor within a few days and I am still in counselling. It is helping, but I have a long way to go yet. I ended up being very angry and depressed. Apparently it is quite normal for someone in my situation to get depressed. I was prepared for that, but I did not count on my being so angry. Usually I get angry and express it and get over it within a few hours at most. I have been angry for days at a time and I just don't know how to deal with it. Under normal circumstances I would engage in vigorous exercise and meditate. I injured myself this summer and that rules out vigorous exercise. I do meditate but I have great difficulty doing it for very long at all. My blood pressure, which was in the high normal range, has shot up to dangerously high levels. I am taking medication for that and for the depression. Those medications are not fine tuned yet and I still have problems with some of the effects. I am more distracted than usual. That is why I left my books behind today.

I am blessed with having a very understanding family.
They have helped me by being there whenever I needed to call them to talk. And talk, I did. It kept me going. Thank you.

Men aren't supposed to get depressed. We are supposed to tough it out and just keep on going. I am not unrealistic enough to really believe that, but it is an expectation that people have of men. Sometimes I feel like I should just be tough and repress my feelings and get on with life.

There have been some good things come out of this and there will be more. I know that, but it is the here and now that I am living in and it is tough. Generally, I am a happy person and I know that I will get back to being myself someday, maybe not soon, but someday.

Strange Google Rankings

I've noticed some odd rankings of my blog on Google, but this one is one of the weirder ones. dark glass for car. Somebody in England found my blog with that search. Actually I've had quite a few people find their way to my blog with similar searches, but my blog has never been ranked third on these kinds of searches before today.

Poetry Contest

I went and entered a poetry contest and only have a few days to come up with (write) something that I want to present in front of a live audience. I have performed in front of quite a few people in the past, but it has been a while. I don't have a whole lot of new poetry, just three or four short ones that are okay but not outstanding. We have a three minute limit so I should have no problem staying under that since most of the poetry that I write is only four lines long. I thought of presenting two poems that are related to each other. I wrote a longer poem about 17 years ago and I wrote another that is related to the first one just a few weeks ago. I would prefer to present something current so I had better get started. Actually. I have several poems started. I just can't seem to finish any of them. I wonder how a presentation of bits and pieces would go over? I started a poem about the onset of dementia. Maybe I could piece it all together and demonstrate the process. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind.

Speaking of losing things, I had three classes today and I brought a text to two of the three classes. I left behind both texts. Luckily, I am surrounded by people who are more aware of their surroundings than I am and got one returned right away. The other is in the department office waiting for me to pick it up. On the bright side, I had made sure that I had my jacket and my backpack when I left those classrooms. I just have to remember to put my books into my backpack before I leave.

Stats to the Rescue

Some people really make a difference in others lives and they are probably not even aware that they have done so. I ran into one of my profs in the hall this morning, the same corner as in the previous post. This time the interaction was much better. We talked about how I was doing in my other courses and we touched on the events of the last couple of months. It was a positive experience. Later, just before class, I talked to the classmate with the health problems. She is still quite upset. She and her friend know that I have some personal problem which is causing me a lot of grief right now. We commiserated and talked about well-meaning people who say the strangest things to try and make you feel better. She made me chuckle when she said she was putting her knowledge of stats to good use. She has had several things go wrong this fall and she claimed that her recent troubles are a statistical anomaly and that it is highly probable that things will get better. I like her attitude.

Moody Monday

Enough alliteration yet?

Anyway, I am not the one who was moody this morning. I was walking through a very busy hallway in the student centre, one of the busier parts of campus and saw someone I know from a group of older students that I meet with about once a week. We started talking about our experiences at university. We were having an interesting and enthusiastic conversation that was acceptable for the location There was a young woman sitting at the same large table. She had her books out in front of her and had her laptop running. She was studying, or at least she was trying to, as she made very clear to us after about twenty minutes. The first indication that we got that we were bothering her was when she swore at us and said that she had a mid term in two hours and that we were rude and inconsiderate people. Both of us apologized, and I added that she could have said something sooner. She agreed that she could have, but by then she was angry and she left. We could have gone somewhere else to talk if we had known how much we were bothering her. Maybe she was unwilling to say anything until she lost her cool. Both of us are old enough to be her parents. If she doesn't do well on her midterm, she might have a few more choice words for us. I'll probably avoid that corner for a while.

Sunny Saturday

It's a lovely fall day here, too nice a day to have to write an exam on. Oh well, I was done in just over an hour so I did not have to be indoors away from natural light for very long. I saw a couple of students from my section and talked to one. It turns out that he and I have at least one thing in common. We are both renovating our older houses. I didn't see my classmate with the health problem, but I could have missed her in the crowd quite easily. Hope she is okay.

I ran a couple of errands on the way home and got here just after noon. I have the whole afternoon ahead of me and one small bathroom to tile. I may get the toilet back in as well. It just depends on how the tiling and trim installation goes. No school work today. I need a break anyway. At least that's my excuse for taking an afternoon off. I think that I'll treat myself to a couple of glasses of wine with supper tonight, play a little Mose Scarlett and veg out.

One of my friends is in the military and made the paper in a story about Remembrance Day. I was quite surprised to see her pictured in her uniform. She comes to school in civvies.

It made me feel guilty about not wearing my poppy today. I seem to have lost it in my travels. I can add that to my list of things that I have lost. I almost added another jacket as well, but I remembered it in time to go back and get it. I had my cellphone and calculator in the pocket, so I would have been able to add three items all at once.

It is a good thing that I have a good memory, or I would have no possessions left. I even managed to lose my runners once, but that's another story.

Funky Friday

I'm in a bit of a funk this evening, so take anything that I say with a grain or two, or maybe a bag, of salt.

Our stats prof posted a practise test for us on the class website. Today, she reviewed the questions that students identified as being problematic. Most of the solutions were straight forward and there were very few questions when she showed us how to get the solution. That is, except for one. We had to calculate the minimum sample size required to meet a given confidence level. We were dealing with discrete objects and there is no way to take a fraction of a sample but the majority of the class rounded the calculated answer down and were very surprised when our prof said that that answer was incorrect. Anyway, I am not the class genius and maybe I am being too hard on everybody.

There has been more fallout from the events of the last couple of months and that is colouring my writing tonight. Also, one of my stats classmates told a couple of us that she has a medical problem and that she has to go for a diagnostic test tonight. She has talked to our prof and has permission to write the exam later if she chooses. She was noticeably distressed.

It seems that each time I think that things are getting together, they start coming undone again. I have to write my stats test tomorrow and I have to get on with my work at university. I need to find some way of keeping my personal life out of my school life. Writing this post is helping, I just cannot say too much, because there is the privacy of others to consider.

I seem to be drawn to people that have gone through hard times. I don't actively seek them out, but I have only told three students about what happened this fall and all three of them have had experiences that are very similar to mine. Maybe it is just chance. I have no idea what the probability is and I am not going to try to calculate it.

One of the student student survival foods is on the menu tonight. Pizza. It's quick and easy. So it's pizza, and maybe some Diana Krall to mellow things out.

Stereotypes

Despite all of the negative connotations of stereotypes, they are useful to us. We sort people that we meet into categories based on past experience and, then interact with them as a member of a class. We do not have to determine how to interact with strangers that we meet on a case by case basis. Having said all of that and, also, saying that I am very open minded and non judgemental, I do sort people that I meet according to stereotypes, at least, in a minimal way. After all, it is a useful strategy, except when it does not work.

There is one class that I take that has a very high proportion of younger students. One of the female students, who is still in her teens, acts just like the stereotypical teenage girl. She does not volunteer answers to questions, she acts a bit juvenile around the guys and otherwise made me think of her as just another flighty teenager.

So, who did I run into the other day when I sought out a quiet corner to study stats. You guessed it. The flighty teenager was there studying for her upcoming math test. She started talking to me and we ended up talking for almost an hour about school, life and future plans. The flighty teenager became a serious young woman who had a good idea of what she wants out of school and out of life. She just hides it rather well most of the time.

I started thinking about all of the other people that I may have met over the years that got slotted into some category or other and reduced to a stereotypical caricature of who they really were. There were, most likely, many. I wonder how many opportunities we all miss from day to day when we don't give people the chance that they deserve.

Coincidentally, we are studying gendered behaviour in one of my other courses. Today, we were discussing the double bind that females are in. If they talk in a stereotypical female way, they are dismissed as not being serious, but when they talk more like males, they are dismissed as being aggressive and too masculine.

So, am I ever going to categorize people according to stereotypes again? Yes, I will. It is just being unrealistic of me to say that I won't. Will I think of my recent experience when I do so? I will and, perhaps, that will make all the difference.

A Dark and Stormy Night

It turns out that my time spent "studying" optical illusions may have been productive after all. Our psych lecture, today, was about vision and perception. Our prof was quite emphatic that checking out the optical illusions website was a very worthwhile activity. He said it about three times, so maybe I should do some more "studying", just to be sure that I really understand optical illusions. When he emphasizes something like that it means we are going to be tested on the concept.

My new printer, an HP F4180, is up and running. No real difficulty getting it going on my Linux (Debian Etch) desktop, although the automated script ran into a problem and would not download some files. I did that manually and then everything went as it was meant to. One feature that I love is that the printer photocopies directly, without using the computer. It does it quickly and does it quite well. I haven't had time to scan anything yet, but that is not a really important feature for me, although it is nice to have on occasion.

My favourite librarian was off sick all summer. she is back at work now, sporting a new, very short, hairdo. It was great to see her back.

It will be a dark and stormy night tonight, a good evening to batten the hatches and curl up with a good book and... oh, I mean stats text and practise doing the kind of problems that we will be tested on this Saturday.

French Results

I got the results of my French mid term. An A+, so I am happy. I had expected a good mark, just not quite as high as I got.

I am swamped with an assignment and studying for a stats test this Saturday and my printer just died. I've been busy researching printers that will work with my Linux desktop without too much fuss. I think that I've found an HP printer, scanner and fax combo that works well, out of the box. I'll pick it up later today. I need to print my assignment which is due tomorrow. I'm not finished it yet, but I have transcribed the dialogue, which is the hardest part, now I just need to analyze the conversation and write up a report.

Random Stuff

I posted a link to a neat website, Optical Illusions and Visual Phenomena.
Do not go there unless you have some time to spare. I found it fascinating, and irresistible. I occupied myself, in between kids at the door, last night, with the illusions on that website. It is related to what we are studying in psych, right now, so I justified the time spent as studying. I hope that there are lots of questions about optical illusions on the next exam. How about a couple, at least, so that I get something out of the two hours I invested in "studying" optical illusions.

On a more serious note, I got a solid A in the mid term that I wrote last Thursday. I don't know how well I placed compared to others students, but I am fairly sure that I did relatively well.

We got the topics for our psych project today. It is worth 10% of our final mark, so it is worthwhile doing a decent job of it.

In class today, during a discussion about compliments and who gives them to whom, a young woman said that it made her feel creepy when she got compliments from old men. I've never talked to her, but it felt a bit weird. I don't think of myself as an old man, but I am sure that she would.

Our prof got mixed up about the time today and handed out our quizzes early. We usually leave after we are done our quizzes, so he had a minor rebellion on his hands. We had gotten our signal that the class was over for the day and there was no going back. We were like little kids given the promise of free time. We had a short discussion about the value of time spent in class compared to the degree that we expected to get. Most students valued the degree more than they valued the education. We left early.

Popular Posts

When I look at my stated reason for writing this blog, and then look at the most read posts, I wonder about my choice of subject matter. My two most popular posts are; Confessions of a Closet Environmentalist and Car vs Bus. These two posts are found in searches by people who are, apparently, not interested in anything else that I have to say. I certainly do not mind having those two posts read. I just find it a bit odd that they are so popular. Perhaps it is a sign of the times.

Mid Term Results

I've gotten the results of two of my mid terms. One A and one B that just missed being an A by one mark. Under the circumstances, I am okay with that. I finished in the top third or so in each of those two classes. I should do well in French so that leaves one course that I really don't know how I did, yet. I am hoping for an A in that course since I have done very well in the assignments and in the quizzes. More important than the mark I get is that I am really enjoying that course. It is one that I have wanted to take for many years.

Time Out

I've needed some time out to recover from the effects of the last few weeks. My sleep deficit has caught up with me and demanded repayment. On top of that, two medications that I had been taking interacted in a bad way. I also seem to have gotten a sore throat. No doubt from not getting enough rest and from being run down.

I wrote mid term #3 on Thursday. I'm not sure how that one went either. I was not feeling very well and wrote it in a bit of a daze. The first third was easy enough, multiple choice, but the next two thirds demanded a bit more. We had to match concepts to, quite tricky, examples of those concepts. The third part required us to define concepts, their relevance to our studies and to give examples. We only had to do six of nine, so it was a bit easier than it might, otherwise, have been.

The last of my mid terms is on Tuesday evening. I don't know if that is worse than Saturday morning or not. At least I am more alert in the morning. After that, I have the second of two term tests in Stats. It is less than three weeks away. Counting the final at Christmas, that makes one term test or exam about every four weeks in Stats. I'm glad that it is only a half course.

Well, that is the extent of my complaining today. It is Monday tomorrow and I have some reading, an assignment, and some French studying to do before bedtime. I needed the sleep but it sure interfered with my school work!

Changes Over The Years

I've noticed quite a few changes since I last attended university almost four decades ago. The most noticeable one is smoking. Very few people smoke now compared to the majority who did then. I don't see many people reading newspapers either. It was quite common for students to read newspapers before class and, sometimes, even during class. Water bottles are everywhere now. We never used a water bottle outside of a camping trip. Coffee is also ubiquitous. We drank a lot of coffee, but, usually, sat down somewhere other than in class to drink it. I don't think that most profs let us have food or anything to drink in class. I'm not sure on that though. Of course, there are two things that really stand out; one is the changes brought about by new technology. A very large proportion of the student body of today is wired for sound and carries a cell phone. Laptops are common, although those who use one in class are still in the minority. The other very noticeable difference is drug use. I don't see a lot of evidence of drug use compared to my last time at university, when coming to class stoned was quite normal for some students. Those were the days of Timothy Leary and his mantra, "Turn on, tune in, drop out." Then again, maybe I just hang around with a different crowd these days.

Older Prof

I found out, today, that I do have, at least, one prof who is older than I am. That fact came out today during class. There is not much difference in our ages, only one year, but I am still younger.

I write another mid term tomorrow. This one is most likely to be the hardest of them all, so I am getting back to my study notes. Maybe I'll listen to some Mose Scarlett tonight while I study. I love his guitar playing and his voice. It is very mellow and relaxing.

My Musical (In)Ability

For many years I have been telling people that I cannot sing and that I cannot readily identify well known pieces of music. I have been told that it is only a matter of finding myself a good music teacher and then I would blossom musically. Rubbish. I have the proof in the form of an online test that I took today.

Apparently, I placed lower than 99.84% of the 61,036 people who took the test. The test measures the subject`s pitch discrimination and musical memory by having them determine whether or not two musical phrases were identical. According to the designer of the test, being tone deaf does not impair musical memory. My score in the test was 44.4%, which is worse than chance. A subject with normal pitch discrimination should score above 70%. For those stats people out there, the scores are normally distributed but skewed to the left. The mean is 73.9% and the standard deviation is 9.99.

Since many or, perhaps, all of the subjects were self selected, I would expect more tone deaf people to have taken the test. The graph does show this. I cannot reproduce it, but if you take the test, you will get your results indicated on a graph of all of the results to date. It only takes about five or six minutes to do the test.

I probably would have gotten a higher score if I had done the test with better speakers, but I doubt that the results would have been much different.

I do have great difficulty in recognizing music, but that does not stop me from enjoying it. I know what I like and I will keep on listening to those old favourites of mine that I can`t name.

Dreams

I met a young woman who has many dreams. She is already being encouraged to forget about some of them. I told her of my dream of returning to university and how it finally came to fruition after almost four decades. We all need our dreams. Sometimes they keep us going through the hard times. I encouraged her to pursue her dreams and remember that she does not have to follow them all today. Maybe she will remember our conversation, someday, maybe four decades from now.

My Euoropean Tour

I just spent a very fascinating evening visiting my neighbours. They are an older couple who have never used a computer. I brought my laptop over and showed them some of the neat things that are on the web, but the hits of the evening were Google Earth and email. I got my neighbour to email my partner, who is out of town. She was impressed by the speed and simplicity of emailing someone. It is too bad that my partner was not on the computer to respond. That would have been something. They really gave Google Earth a workout. My wireless connection worked flawlessly and everything else worked the the way that it should. They searched through their home village in Europe and found her sister's house. It was overwhelming for my neighbour at that point. She said that she probably would not see her sister again. They relived some of their wartime experiences, good and bad. They searched out the villages of friends and relatives and reminisced. We drank wine and looked up recipes and looked at pictures. The evening was one of those special moments that come once in a very long time. It was great to see things through their eyes.

Mid Term #2

Well, one more mid term out of the way. This one was just about as easy as the one that I wrote last Saturday, which is good because I thought that it might have been harder. There is a lot more subject matter to learn in this course. I`ll have to wait and see how well I did. Sometimes I am good at estimating how well I`ve done on a test, at other times I am not at all sure. I have two more to go, one next week and one the week after that. I like having exams spread out. I talked to a classmate of mine who said that she liked to write all of her exams in one week so that they would be over with and she could get back to her normal life. She is a good student and can handle four or five exams and the studying for them over a short period of time.

I try to keep up with the course work and not spend a lot of time studying at the last minute. I find that it is too stressful to be cramming the night before. I am always surprised at the number of students who study right up to the moments just before they go in to write.

We had a minor debate on some of the major concepts of our coursework this morning. One guy did not know a few things and asked for help with a couple of concepts. One woman and I, who are both taking stats, were trying to convince a few people there, of the correct formula for standard deviation. We were outvoted vocally. Well, what can you do? Why he wanted to learn that formula, I'm not sure. We just had to be able to calculate the mean and range, determine the mode and median and then answer a very easy question using the values for those measures. There were a few other questions about correlation and the like but they were easy too. Of course, hindsight is... Maybe if I had not been taking stats, I would have found the very basic stats presented in this course intimidating. I think that I'll stay out of the next last minute discussion in the hall.

The Last Roses

Fall is definitely here, but there are two, almost perfect, flowers on one of my Queen Elizabeth rose bushes. I don't have a digital camera, so here is a link to a website that has some pictures of Queen Elizabeth roses.

I'm busy studying for mid terms and looking out at those roses was a nice break from the books. I need to go for some groceries and do some other things that I've been putting off. It's the little things that are always there and need attending to that keep me busy. The rest of you too, I imagine.

I went to a jam session last night. It was different than anything that I've been to, very informal and relaxed. There was a small crowd of people who mostly knew each other or knew someone who was playing. I met some more people from university and got to know a few a bit better. It was great to get out, despite having studying to do.

Life goes on.

Deception

I just took part in a psychology experiment, during which I was deceived. I am not surprised that I was deceived, in fact, I had suspected it based on some observations that I made while I was taking part in the experiment. I almost commented on it during the last phase of the experiment, but did not do so.

What really surprised me, is the strength of the sense of betrayal that I felt afterward. I know that it was only an experiment and that no one was hurt by it, especially not me, but I really am surprised at how betrayed I felt. Perhaps this betrayal only triggered the release of some of the emotions that still linger as a result of recent events.

Lost and Found

Things that I have found;

A cell phone. Coincidentally owned by someone named Rob.
A calculator. A cheap basic one.
Someone's ID.
Another calculator. A more advanced, but still, relatively, inexpensive calculator.


Things that I have lost;

A jacket. Someone turned it in to the TA who contacted me.
My student ID. No luck yet on getting it back. I guess I'll just have to get a new one.
I'm getting to know the lost and found people too well.

Retaining My Anonymity

I find it difficult to write about some situations and events without doing one, or both, of two things; one is retaining my anonymity at the university that I attend, the other is, in some way, betraying others by writing about them.

I read a blog, writing as jo(e), that solves that problem in an interesting way. The author makes up names for the people in her life and writes about them using those names. I quite like her blog and the way she weaves the personal stories into her blog without compromising the privacy of the people she knows. It is apparent that others know that she writes a blog and that she may write about them. Most people that I know do not know that I am writing this blog. I have only told some of my family members and a couple of my friends. I am not sure that her solution is the way that I will solve my problem, but it is an option worth considering.

I would like to retain my anonymity, as much as I can, given that several people know that I am writing this blog. I believe that it gives me an opportunity to write about my experiences without being self-conscious about how others may react. I will not betray confidences and I will write in a way that respects the privacy of those that I write about. I just will not be able to write about some of the interesting stuff that happens.

Hey! Who am I kidding? Not enough people read this blog for me to worry abut my being known as a blogger. Not yet, anyway.

Mid Terms

It is a beautiful fall day, perfect for going outside and getting some exercise.

But, as you may have guessed, by the title of this post, it is mid term season and I was inside writing my first one this morning. It went well. I was apprehensive because I am just getting over my cold, or whatever laid me low for the last couple of days. Yesterday, my eyes and nose were still running and the tissues were piling up all over the house. I loaded up on decongestant and brought a huge hand full of tissues with me, just in case. As it turned out, I did not need them. The decongestants held back the tides.

The exam went well too. It was Stats. Actually, one of my favourite subjects. The tension outside the room was palpable. I went off to one end of the hall, away from most of the others who were waiting for ten o'clock. I ran into a guy who is in my section. We talked a bit and introduced ourselves; he seems like a nice guy. I am not sure how long we will have to wait before we get our marks back, but I'm not worried about the results. I was ready for the test.

So, now what? It is still a nice fall day out there, but I have another mid term next Saturday and that one is going to be harder than the one this morning. Study, maybe? Later, maybe?

Feeling Guilty About Driving

Occasionally, I drive my car to the university. When I do, I usually feel somewhat guilty about doing so. I made an issue of taking the bus for environmental reasons and I feel hypocritical when I drive.

Today was one of those days. I was not feeling very well and had decided to skip classes and just get my homework from my first class and hand in my assignment that was due today in my second class. Instead, I began to feel somewhat better and stayed on for my second class.

I'm glad I did. First of all, three of us read each others assignments and gave our feedback on them. It was too late to change anything in my assignment, but the feedback was positive about two things. The two classmates who read my assignment, liked my approach of splitting off part of the data, that we were given, and assigning it to a new category. We had that option given to us in the assignment, so I was not being particularly daring by doing so. Secondly, they liked my analysis and the way that I presented it. I was also reassured by the fact that they came to somewhat the same conclusions that I did. I also got back the quiz that we wrote last week. I did very well on it, so now I am ahead slightly (just two marks in four quizzes that are marked out of ten) in the friendly rivalry that a classmate and I are engaging in.

By the time the class ended, I felt lousy again, so I skipped my last class. I was happy to have the car available and drove home guilt free.

Thanksgiving

Although it is Thanksgiving Day today and I do have a lot to be thankful for, even more than usual, it is also a very sad day for me. My partner was discharged from the hospital today, but she is going to stay with relatives who live about a seven hour drive from here. I visited her almost every day since September 13, when she was admitted to the hospital, until yesterday. We will not be able to see each other very much for some time. As part of her recovery process, we have talked about her spending an extended period of time with family and friends that she has not seen much of during the last few years. There is talk of her spending Christmas with her daughter on the coast. It would be a great visit for both of them. She does need to be away, but it is still very hard for us.

Miles Davis and I are spending the evening together. I find his music is what I need to listen to on days like this.

Going Slowly

I was thinking about the pace of our lives and how we push ourselves to the limit and schedule every free moment.

Are we nuts?

That is a question that someone asked me a few weeks ago as we talked about their family schedule. It was typical of many families with both parents working and with a couple of kids in hockey, dance and other activities, in other words, very busy. I readily answered in the affirmative, half jokingly, but half, not joking.

What ever happened to unscheduled time for children? Why do children have their days full of planned activities? I don't have any answers, but I do think that we need to ask those questions.

Expanding My Horizons

One of the objectives that I have for myself, at university, is to meet people who have different points of view and different perspectives on life. In some small way I am fulfilling that objective. I am open to meeting people and will talk to almost anyone I meet, which has lead me to some interesting conversations with students of varying backgrounds, ages, areas of interest etc. The one thing that I do find odd is that most of the people, that I get to know or talk to for more than a couple of sentences, are women. I do get along better with women and most of my best friends have been women, but I do find it odd that most of the people who approach me and strike up a conversation are women. It leaves me wondering. Why?

Long Weekend

It is Friday afternoon, the beginning of the first long weekend of the school year. One of my profs teaches a morning section as well as the the late afternoon session I normally attend. I went to the one this morning, so I am off until Tuesday at 09:30. That is great! I don't even have a lot of work to do, but I must get started studying for my first mid-term that is coming up in just over a week.

It is a very nice fall day, the leaves are changing, and it is sunny and warm. I think that I will do some laundry and hang it out to dry. I love the smell of fresh clean sheets.

Tomatoes

I was just reading a poem about growing tomatoes in the summer, sharing them with friends, and then eating the preserved fruit in the winter.

I found the poem especially evocative of feelings associated with summer and warmth and the warmth of friendship and shared memories and shared abundance. I always find that when we eat something that we grew and preserved especially rewarding. Perhaps, it is a feeling of caring for each other and providing for each other. I think that I used more words describing some of the feelings that were evoked by the poem as there are in the poem. Good poetry does that though. It captures and expresses a mood in a few, well chosen, words.

A Bit Out Of the Ordinary

I had a very busy, but satisfying day today. It was an early start to a long day that saw me arrive at university just after eight this morning. I got lucky with the bus ride. It was just about 35 minutes which is as about as short as it gets.

I spent most of the morning studying and getting caught up on my reading. I had gone early for a specific reason, but the event was canceled and I had nothing scheduled until just before lunch. I met with someone who is also a mature student and we talked about our experiences at university. She had some suggestions that she thought would help me succeed at university. I think that her advice was helpful and will certainly follow it.

I need to make another decision about my class schedule. I am in an intermediate French class and am finding it hard to keep up because it has been so long since I studied French. I have forgotten so much. I have been thinking of switching to the basic French class. I talked to someone in the French Department and he agreed that it is probably the best choice for me. He gave me a couple of days to think about it.

A few of us got together late this afternoon for a bit of socializing at a popular on-campus spot. It is frequented by older students and quite a few of the profs, so I felt a lot more comfortable there. Not a teenager in sight for about two hours. Teenagers are okay, but they are so young.

I went to a poetry group meeting after school and participated in a workshop. It was interesting and I quite enjoyed it. I did not bring any of my work, but I will in the future. That was the first poetry workshop that I have attended. I plan on going to the next one.

I did not get back home until after nine but I really enjoyed doing something a little bit out of the ordinary.

September Flew By

It is hard to believe that October is already here. The time has flown by. Mid-terms start in about three weeks. I have exams in three of my four courses. It is time to get some serious studying done. I am doing very well in three of my four courses and struggling in the fourth.

I have noticed that the ranks are beginning to thin out somewhat. One of my classes has about three hundred students registered but there are far fewer than that in class on any given day. The lecture last week was very dry and technical (boring) which led several students to walk out part way through. One student remarked that "this class sucks the life right out of me". There are still quite a few classes before April arrives. He may be a shriveled up vestige of himself by then.

Getting Noticed

A bit of interesting news about my bog. My post Confessions of a closet environmentalist is listed on Technorati.com. According to them, my blog is among "some of the best blogs on the Web" It is only one person's opinion that my post belongs on Technorati, but it is gratifying nevertheless.

The Latest News

A couple of things happened today that I am happy about. I went to the first meeting of a club that a friend and I joined. We introduced ourselves and talked about our expectations and then I had to leave. Maybe next time I will be able to stay for the after meeting socialization.

The other big event of the day was the first CPP (pension) deposit into my bank account. It is not much, just a few hundred dollars a month but it marks a milestone for me. I am now, officially a senior citizen but, as I said in my introduction at the club meeting, I don't feel like one and I certainly don't intend to act like one.

My New Laptop

My return to university has prompted me to buy a new laptop. Although I have owned one or more computers since the early eighties, it is my first new computer in more than a decade. I don't play games or do very much that needs the newest or latest computer software. The most demanding program I use is Gimp for photo editing. I use Linux on my desktop and find that it does everything that I need it to do, and it does it quite well.

I bought a Dell with Vista as the operating system. It has a dual core Centrino running at 1.67 Ghz and two gigs of ram. It uses one gig without any user programs running. I had heard about Vista and its needing a fast processor with lots of ram. I have not had any real problems with it yet, other than having to reboot it about a dozen times since I got it after installing new software and updating the system software. That is something that my Linux system does not need to do.

My new computer does run Google Earth a lot faster than my Linux desktop does. I like that feature. Oh, by the way, my desktop is a Compaq Pentium 3 running at 0.867 Ghz , with 512 megs of ram that I bought, for less than a tenth of the price of my new Dell, at a yard sale a couple of years ago.

Comments

I have found out that there is a problem with comments. I am not getting them. I am trying to get this problem fixed.

Why I Am Writing This Blog

When I decided to return to university as a mature student, I thought that writing about my experiences would be worthwhile in several ways. First of all, it is a chronicle of my experiences that I can share with others, secondly, it is a way for me to keep my family members up to date, third, it forces me to think about and process my experiences at university, and finally, it gives me a reason to write regularly.

I find it gratifying that I already have some readers who check out this blog every day. It is even more gratifying that they are not all family members. One of my daughters will be very surprised that she is not number one on the list of visitors. You know who you are.

There are readers from British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario, Virginia, Spain, South Africa, India, Australia and several other countries. My goal is to provide all of my readers with something that will keep them interested enough to keep coming back for more. I welcome your input, so please feel free to comment on any of the posts on this blog.

Car vs bus revisited

Ones actions often have effects that are not those that were intended. I was talking to someone about not driving and taking the bus as part of my contribution to help reduce pollution and global warming. I found that talking about my conscious decision, to take the bus, made the other student think about not driving. The more people who take the bus, the more normal it will become and the less normal driving will be.

Cold bus rides

I've been taking the bus to school almost every day. If it is cooler outside the buses are quite comfortable, but if it is a hot day, the buses are cold from the air conditioning. I could use a jacket, in fact quite a few people do wear jackets on the buses on those days. Stores, too, are kept colder than they need to be for comfort. Is it just me, or is there something wrong with our expectations?

A very long week

It has been a very long week. I am still dealing with the fallout from my personal crisis. I have no regrets about dropping the course. It allows me to focus on what I need to do.

Wednesday was a very bad day for me, I felt the full, emotional impact of the events of the week before. I decided to contact others and let them know just how hard it had been for me. That made a huge difference. Wednesday could have been the day when things got worse, instead it was the day when things turned around.

I am continuing to meet interesting people. An excellent example is a woman who has spent time in the Middle East and is in university to gain knowledge and skills that will enable her to return to the country that she spent time in and work with the people there. She is learning the local language so that she will be more effective when she returns.

I was invited to go for a beer by a fellow student on Friday. Although, we decided not to go for the beer then, we did go to check out the campus clubs and joined a couple of them. The age difference between the other students and me does not seem to be any hindrance to my meeting people and socializing with them. They are curious about why I am in university now and some of the more goal oriented want to know what I am going to do with my degree when I graduate.

I am keeping up with the work, despite all of the turmoil in my life. I have written three short tests and have gotten very high marks in two of them and a very respectable mark in the third. At least, I think so, it has not been marked yet but I know I did not find it difficult

I am behind in some of my reading and will have to concentrate on that this weekend. Along with the household chores, which are always there, I will also have to spend some time dealing with my personal crisis. That makes for a busy weekend but I am taking some time to relax on Sunday. I've been invited out for dinner and I will definitely be there.

Fitting in

I am beginning to feel as if I belong here. One of my concerns about returning to university was the large age difference between the other students and me. It was an unfounded concern. Most people, here, are very accepting and encouraging. The students that I talk to are really interested in why I am at university at this stage of my life.

I had some apprehension about attending a large institution. So far, other than the walking around campus, it is easier than I thought that it would be.

I am enjoying the challenges that come from attending university. I have read quite a lot over the years, but now I have to read material at a deeper level and understand it, even if I am not particularly interested in some of the material. When I read before, I would skip over parts that were of less interest to me.

Expectations

I started attending classes, almost a week ago, with certain expectations. I had an idea that some courses were going to be hard and others easier. I was also sure which courses would be most interesting and which classes would go by very slowly. Not surprisingly, my expectations are all wrong. Well, not quite, but pretty much. Certain profs bring enthusiasm for their subject matter and a love of teaching that makes, even the less fascinating, topics interesting.

I have some larger classes that I was apprehensive about because I know that I learn better when there are fewer students in a class. Maybe I have a more positive attitude than I have had in the past, because I find the larger classes are almost as conducive to learning as the smaller ones are. Perhaps I would be more engaged and learning even better if those classes were smaller.

Car vs Bus

I drove my car to the university yesterday morning. It took me 15 minutes to drive there and 15 minutes to walk to the building where my morning class is held. I did walk a bit slowly because of an injury that I am recovering from, but driving does not save me very much time. It usually takes me about 40 minutes, door to door, to get to class by bus.

Fallout

Events in my personal life have forced me to change my course load. I have had to drop one course, so now I am down to four.

I did not take this decision lightly. My academic counselor and I talked about my options and we agreed that this is the safest one. I might have been okay with five courses, but it is better to drop the course now, than after all of my work has suffered. I have credits from my previous studies so I have some flexibility.

Life goes on

Amidst the turmoil and grief of the last few days I got some great news. Someone who is very close to me called and told me that they have decided to start a family and that she is pregnant. I am so very happy for them. Life goes on...

My First Week

I completed my first week, albeit with a major hiccup. There was a family crisis that caused me to miss classes on Friday. Otherwise it went well. I am pleased with the reception that I am getting.

Patterns are starting to emerge. We are beginning to form small groups within some of our classes. People who think alike start talking and end up spending time together. I would like to meet more people who are different, who have different ideas to contribute, who have other perspectives to offer. Relationships that would do that need to be more deliberate and cultivated. I would have to move away from what is easy and comfortable towards the difficult and unfamiliar.

I think that one of the goals for university should be to open up and experience life from different perspectives. We need to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. (The last sentence comes from something I read once but I don't remember the source.)

rough edges

Life experiences can polish our rough edges if we are resilient enough to take what comes our way, but if our life experiences are too abrasive, they chip away at our soul and roughen us up even more.

Confessions of a closet environmentalist

I have a confession to make. I am a closet environmentalist.

It is true that we are careful buyers who try to reduce our consumption at the source. We recycle almost everything that can be recycled and we compost almost everything that can be composted. We give away many of the items that we do not use any more. We do not use pesticides and we limit our use of household chemicals. But there are many things that we could do differently. We run our air conditioner too much. We drive short distances too often. We live in a house that is larger than we really need. I could go on.

I have decided to make a significant change. My university fees included a bus pass. All students pay for it whether they use it or not. I have been using mine. We have an excellent bus system and my travel time is not excessive. If I drove, I could get to the university in about 25 minutes. So far, the bus ride has been about 40 minutes or a bit more. I read or study some of that time. I could not do that if I were driving.

From my perspective it is a good deal. I reduce my green house gas production, I feel good about it and I get some more study time.

Pogo

One of my all time favourite quotes comes from Pogo "we have met the enemy and he is us."

That is quite enough for tonight, I must get to sleep.

Some reactions to my returning to university

Some of the comments that people made when they found out that I was returning to university surprised me. Most people were excited for me and encouraged me. I had expected that. What surprised me was the reaction of a very small minority who hoped that I was returning to university just for my own self fulfillment and not with the expectation that I would get a job when I graduated. Two things about that sentiment strike me as odd. First of all is the devaluation of the principle of going to university for personal satisfaction and fulfillment. I got the message that the reason one attended university was to gain marketable knowledge and skills. It was all well and good if one could find satisfaction and personal fulfillment while doing so but it was secondary to the main event. Secondly, I got the message that someone my age should not expect to find work after graduation. At least one person framed the message in a way that made it clear that I needed to be administered a healthy dose of reality. Someone wondered why I would want to go to school with a "bunch of teenagers".

My reason for returning to university now is because I can. I also need to finish the degree that I started so many years ago. That unfinished work has been calling me like a siren for almost four decades. I enjoy learning and love acquiring knowledge for its own sake. I do not believe that I need to justify my decision. I have had a couple of other students ask me why I chose to return to university now. They understood when I told them my story.

Orientation

The orientation session was worth going to. I met some nice people and found out about some of the services that are available to students. The best part was sitting around chatting after the tour finished. It was a lovely afternoon so we sat outside and enjoyed the fresh air.

Second day at university- French and Statistics

French was hard. Apparently, our text is used for the introductory French class as well as the intermediate class that I am taking. I have to get caught up on chapters one to seven. I have already started and understand the first two chapters reasonably well.

The only class of mine that has a significant number of older students is my French Class. Lest I offend anyone, they are just a bit older than most first and second year students. There are not very many, but more than there are in my other classes.

Our statistics class was scheduled for an hour and was taken up with administrative stuff for the 30 minutes, or so, that we were in class. The fun starts next Monday.

Tomorrow I am going to a get to know your university session for mature students. Maybe I will finally meet someone my own age. Yeah right.

First day at university

Today was my first day of classes after returning to university after a very long time away. Surprisingly, I was a lot more relaxed today than I remember being the first time around. Students seem to be a lot more serious than they were in 1968. I really enjoyed my first three classes and am looking forward to more.

Tomorrow I get to experience French and Statistics. I was placed in an intermediate French class after writing a placement test this summer but I haven't studied French formally for a long time. I've been brushing up on my French grammar to get back into the groove. French is the class that I am most apprehensive about.

Thoughts on family birthdays in August

I am always fascinated by the number of ways that people can find to sort themselves into in-groups and out-groups.

Many of the members of my family and my wife's family celebrate their birthdays in August. Three of my wife's siblings were born within a few days of each other early in August so they are all Leos. Most of the rest of the family members who have birthdays in August are also Leos. That leaves out those who were born later in August and are Virgos. Their birthdays rarely get mentioned in family gatherings while those of the Leos are frequently celebrated as something special.

Happy birthday to all those Leos and Virgos. Or, should I exclude those Virgos who were born in September?

Survival of the sickest

I just finished reading an excellent book. It was a page turner in the best mystery novel fashion.

The physiology of frogs that freeze solid during the winter, only to thaw out and hop away come spring, may give us a clue to why humans get diabetes. Why do people carry genetic disorders that make them sick? How did that contribute to our success as a species? Dr. Moalem weaves a spellbinding story of how genetic disorders have helped our species survive and thrive. A must read. On my list of all-time bests.

Survival of the sickest : A Medical Maverick Discovers Why We Need Disease by Sharon Moalem, with Jonathan Prince.

Returning to university

I am returning to university this fall after a hiatus of almost four decades. I just got back from buying my books. It was rather comforting to find that I could actually understand the math texts. For anyone who has been away from school for a while, it is the technical stuff that gets forgotten. I am really glad that I took a math course this summer.

Most people I run into assume that I am a parent of a student rather than a student myself. I am older than most of the staff and profs. It feels a bit weird but I will get used to it.

I'm looking forward to returning to university on September 6th, the day that classes start.

Getting started

I did the easy part today. I thought of a name that I liked, wrote a verse that captures my mood today and got rid of the upper case in the title and description. Not bad for a start.

I hope to be able to write something worthwhile fairly often. I'll just have to wait and see how it goes.